I feel a bit better today. And yesterday I felt a bit better as well. I took a real close look at those days to see if I could determine any variations that might account for this. The one thing I discovered, I had eight hours of sleep. I never get eight hours of sleep. … Continue reading Sleeping My Way To Health and Happiness
It is Sunday morning as I write this. I have decided that I will have a good day today. I am sick of having bad days. I am sick of feeling down and hurt and confused and helpless. Today will be different. I did all the scary things yesterday. I did all the hard things … Continue reading Not Today
I’m Not Ok and That’s Ok
Another day done. I did there bare minimum. I didn't do anymore than that and I didn't get mad about it. There were plenty of moments when I thought of all the things I would like to do. I want to put up more Christmas decorations around the house, I want to put lights up … Continue reading I’m Not Ok and That’s Ok
Harnessing the Darkness Within
I went to the doctor today. I was given a referral to a psychiatrist. I should hear from them in seven to ten business days. There, I did the thing. Now I am back in bed. I will leave you with a quote. One that gives me hope that something good might still come from … Continue reading Harnessing the Darkness Within
Hope on the Horizon
This was another day I spent mostly in bed. However, now I have an appointment with my doctor. I am actually hopeful. More hopeful than I have been in a long while. Just the thought there might be a way out of this cycle, this nightmare, this crippling void, makes me feel better. I feel … Continue reading Hope on the Horizon
Today is my second day in bed. I get up for important things, like going to the kid’s swim practice, eating, going for a walk on my treadmill, spending time with my partner and kids, doing the dishes, taking a shower, picking the kids up from school. I am not so bad off that I … Continue reading Safe Space
Out of Nowhere
It hit me like a kick to the chest. Suddenly it was hard to breath. My vision tunneled. My heart felt like someone was standing on it. I cried for an hour. Now I just feel cold and numb. And the worst part is, I don't want to try and figure it out. I don't … Continue reading Out of Nowhere
I was able to get up and work out again, early. I have had my nose stuck in a book during any free time. But I still feel a bit twitchy. I am stuck in a strange place. I am not sure if I am moving or standing still. Its like I am on a … Continue reading Perspective
Am I Resting or Just Being Lazy?
I don’t know what happened yesterday. I didn’t go to bed early the night before so I didn’t get up early to workout. When I finally did get up, I was nervous; sick and shaky, there’s a killer around the corner, nervous. I thought about what I had to do that day. I had to … Continue reading Am I Resting or Just Being Lazy?
And Now Some Relief
I did what I planned to do yesterday. I spent the day reading books about Egypt and then I did a bit of writing on my novel. It was my second day of 250 words (at least) per day for six weeks. I am going strong. The other side to that is this; I don’t … Continue reading And Now Some Relief