This morning I woke up early and worked out. It is the first time in three days I have felt up to it. I will take that as a big step in the right direction. I also didn't cry at all today, another good sign. Perhaps my time in the pit of despair is nearing … Continue reading And a little bit more
Category: Exercise
Beginner’s Anxiety
I did something on Friday I have never done before. I took a yoga class. Every single part of me didn’t want to go. But I used all the tools I could think of to get through it. I meditated for a half an hour before I left the house. I took deep slow breaths. … Continue reading Beginner’s Anxiety
Meal Planning
I ran again this morning and it felt really good. I didn’t bother trying to go outside this time. I just hopped on the treadmill and got going. I was able to go to bed early again last night, so it wasn’t too hard to get up early again. And I must say, I really … Continue reading Meal Planning
A Scary Start To A Early Morning
I got up early. I went to bed early, and then I got up early, and then I went outside to run. My plan was to get up early enough so that there wouldn’t be a lot of people out yet and I could work out feeling safe and unobserved. What’s the word for when … Continue reading A Scary Start To A Early Morning
Past Failure and Setting New Goals
I didn’t work out early this morning like I planned (it wasn’t a good plan). Turns out that little girl (my stubborn inner child) doesn’t sleep in. She was up and ready to throw a fit before my eyes were even open. I am not giving up though. There must be a way. I … Continue reading Past Failure and Setting New Goals
When You Have a Stubborn Inner Child
I am not working out today. I just … I have this little girl standing on my heart with her pouty face on and she has dug her heels in deep and screwed her eyes up tight and she is saying, quite clearly, “I DON’T WANNA!” My plan is to go to bed early tonight … Continue reading When You Have a Stubborn Inner Child
Feeling Fat
I hate feeling fat. Like being fat is visual proof that I am a failure. It exposes my insecurity to the world. Like my chubby cheeks are screaming I ate candy instead of doing sit ups. That instead of going for a run I ate pasta. That instead of working through lunch I watched … Continue reading Feeling Fat
Losing Stamina
Yesterday morning was my second morning back working out after about a full week off. I am extremely sore. I am debating wether or not I should work out this morning as well. I want to. I want to get back to the point where the exercise is enjoyable and not torture. I am … Continue reading Losing Stamina
New Running Shoes
Yesterday I went and did it. I bought new running shoes. I didn’t have the money and they were twice as expensive as I thought they were going to be but… I needed them. I am not working out for lack of new shoes and it is taking its toll on my emotional state. I … Continue reading New Running Shoes
Letting Go
I have been fighting off a cold. Which means I cannot workout. Which means I have been eating poorly. Which means I feel icky and uncomfortable. Which also means I feel like I am failing. Which all raises my anxiety. Yesterday I just let it happen. I didn’t really know what else to do. Fighting … Continue reading Letting Go