This was another day I spent mostly in bed. However, now I have an appointment with my doctor. I am actually hopeful. More hopeful than I have been in a long while. Just the thought there might be a way out of this cycle, this nightmare, this crippling void, makes me feel better. I feel … Continue reading Hope on the Horizon
Today is my second day in bed. I get up for important things, like going to the kid’s swim practice, eating, going for a walk on my treadmill, spending time with my partner and kids, doing the dishes, taking a shower, picking the kids up from school. I am not so bad off that I … Continue reading Safe Space
I didn’t feel any better this morning when I woke up but I got up anyway. I didn’t allow how I felt to have any effect on how I went about my day. That meant that I paused before entering rooms and silently sobbed. I let myself feel the pain, hard and hot in my … Continue reading Silent Tears
It hit me like a kick to the chest. Suddenly it was hard to breath. My vision tunneled. My heart felt like someone was standing on it. I cried for an hour. Now I just feel cold and numb. And the worst part is, I don't want to try and figure it out. I don't … Continue reading Out of Nowhere
I was able to get up and work out again, early. I have had my nose stuck in a book during any free time. But I still feel a bit twitchy. I am stuck in a strange place. I am not sure if I am moving or standing still. Its like I am on a … Continue reading Perspective
This morning I woke up early and worked out. It is the first time in three days I have felt up to it. I will take that as a big step in the right direction. I also didn't cry at all today, another good sign. Perhaps my time in the pit of despair is nearing … Continue reading And a little bit more
Today was a little bit better than yesterday. Sometimes that is all there is and all I can hope for. I am grateful for it. I hope tomorrow will be a little bit better than today.