It hit me like a kick to the chest. Suddenly it was hard to breath. My vision tunneled. My heart felt like someone was standing on it. I cried for an hour. Now I just feel cold and numb. And the worst part is, I don't want to try and figure it out. I don't … Continue reading Out of Nowhere
Category: Depression
Perspective
I was able to get up and work out again, early. I have had my nose stuck in a book during any free time. But I still feel a bit twitchy. I am stuck in a strange place. I am not sure if I am moving or standing still. Its like I am on a … Continue reading Perspective
And a little bit more
This morning I woke up early and worked out. It is the first time in three days I have felt up to it. I will take that as a big step in the right direction. I also didn't cry at all today, another good sign. Perhaps my time in the pit of despair is nearing … Continue reading And a little bit more
Every Little Bit Counts
Today was a little bit better than yesterday. Sometimes that is all there is and all I can hope for. I am grateful for it. I hope tomorrow will be a little bit better than today.
Beginner’s Anxiety
I did something on Friday I have never done before. I took a yoga class. Every single part of me didn’t want to go. But I used all the tools I could think of to get through it. I meditated for a half an hour before I left the house. I took deep slow breaths. … Continue reading Beginner’s Anxiety
My Temporary Withdrawal
I had a very hard day yesterday. It was so hard, in fact, I am still feeling the effects. I am reeling. I am off balance. I am emotionally hungover. I am not myself. I am not up to it, whatever it may be. And so I am withdrawing... Temporarily. I will be back tomorrow.
Am I Resting or Just Being Lazy?
I don’t know what happened yesterday. I didn’t go to bed early the night before so I didn’t get up early to workout. When I finally did get up, I was nervous; sick and shaky, there’s a killer around the corner, nervous. I thought about what I had to do that day. I had to … Continue reading Am I Resting or Just Being Lazy?
Cleaning is Good for the Soul
I. Am. So. Tired. Some big-time house cleaning happened yesterday. Halloween decorations finally came down (don’t judge me). The boys even put in their time by picking things up, vacuuming, and scrubbing down their bathroom. It was a lot of work and I am super tired, but I also feel really good about all the … Continue reading Cleaning is Good for the Soul
Just For Now
I am tired. Yesterday was hard. I had such a good week last week, and then this week… things are hard. There are so many factors I could look to lay the blame on but … All I know for sure is that doing things yesterday was hard for me, and doing the same things … Continue reading Just For Now
Looking Ahead to the Good Parts
I didn't get to try out my new shoes yesterday. But I did get to spend the entire day at home, alone, doing research for my novel. It was marvelous. I had a wonderful time. I learned things about Witchcraft and Ancient Egypt and Native American Prophecy, just to name a few. I spent the … Continue reading Looking Ahead to the Good Parts