I did it! Yesterday ended up being a bust, but today (last night) I got eight hours of sleep! And you know what happened next? I got out of bed! Yep, you heard right. I got out of bed, then I made the bed, and then I straightened up the bedroom. None of that could … Continue reading And Then I Woke Up
Category: Depression
Sleeping My Way To Health and Happiness
I feel a bit better today. And yesterday I felt a bit better as well. I took a real close look at those days to see if I could determine any variations that might account for this. The one thing I discovered, I had eight hours of sleep. I never get eight hours of sleep. … Continue reading Sleeping My Way To Health and Happiness
Not Today
It is Sunday morning as I write this. I have decided that I will have a good day today. I am sick of having bad days. I am sick of feeling down and hurt and confused and helpless. Today will be different. I did all the scary things yesterday. I did all the hard things … Continue reading Not Today
As Darkness Falls
I had a lot to do today. In between tasks I curled up under the blankets and cried until I fell asleep. It made me feel better. Now it is the end of the day. All I have left are kid related activities. Things like bedtime, showers, homework, and reading. Their small smiles and rambling … Continue reading As Darkness Falls
I’m Not Ok and That’s Ok
Another day done. I did there bare minimum. I didn't do anymore than that and I didn't get mad about it. There were plenty of moments when I thought of all the things I would like to do. I want to put up more Christmas decorations around the house, I want to put lights up … Continue reading I’m Not Ok and That’s Ok
Waiting
I had another bad day today. After this weekend full of lights and sounds and people... I need some time to recover. Although I don't think I would feel much better even if I had spent the weekend at home alone. That's just where I'm at right now. Still waiting to hear from back from … Continue reading Waiting
Harnessing the Darkness Within
I went to the doctor today. I was given a referral to a psychiatrist. I should hear from them in seven to ten business days. There, I did the thing. Now I am back in bed. I will leave you with a quote. One that gives me hope that something good might still come from … Continue reading Harnessing the Darkness Within
Hope on the Horizon
This was another day I spent mostly in bed. However, now I have an appointment with my doctor. I am actually hopeful. More hopeful than I have been in a long while. Just the thought there might be a way out of this cycle, this nightmare, this crippling void, makes me feel better. I feel … Continue reading Hope on the Horizon
Safe Space
Today is my second day in bed. I get up for important things, like going to the kid’s swim practice, eating, going for a walk on my treadmill, spending time with my partner and kids, doing the dishes, taking a shower, picking the kids up from school. I am not so bad off that I … Continue reading Safe Space
Silent Tears
I didn’t feel any better this morning when I woke up but I got up anyway. I didn’t allow how I felt to have any effect on how I went about my day. That meant that I paused before entering rooms and silently sobbed. I let myself feel the pain, hard and hot in my … Continue reading Silent Tears