Tomorrow is Halloween. Today there are a ton of things to do. Yesterday I did practically nothing. It was calculated, productive nothing, though. I wanted to be sure I had enough to get through the next few days, which will be super busy and intense, so… I took a day and did the opposite. My … Continue reading Extrovert-Human
I want to talk about what is at the root of (at least my) anxiety. I think that pain and shame are the main causes. And really, you could say it's just pain, but for sake of explanation lets say they are two separate things. I have been working with my counselor in regards to … Continue reading Pain and Shame
I had a good day yesterday. I think the cold I have been fighting finally gave up and moved on. I spent most of the morning anxious. However, I continued doing all the things I had planned and I was feeling much better by noon. Today I will keep up the productivity and hopefully feel even … Continue reading A Good Day
I have been fighting off a cold. Which means I cannot workout. Which means I have been eating poorly. Which means I feel icky and uncomfortable. Which also means I feel like I am failing. Which all raises my anxiety. Yesterday I just let it happen. I didn’t really know what else to do. Fighting … Continue reading Letting Go
I am feeling even worse. I am not sure what to do. I am trying to just wait it out. Maybe snuggle up and watch some crappy TV? I don’t want to complain, I just don’t have any positive story to tell right now. The sadness is winning today.
Having this anxiety all the time, it means I am quite practiced at feeling afraid and moving through that feeling. Someone who is not easily scared doesn’t have the same experience as I do overcoming fear. So, doesn’t that mean I am better at it? I hope so. Yesterday, I spent most of the day … Continue reading Am I Better Yet?
Yesterday marked one year since my divorce was finalized. The split happened over three years ago, but all the legality was finished and things were made permanent one year ago yesterday. It was a nasty divorce, as I am sure most are. I won’t get into details, but going through it changed me. I was … Continue reading Happy Anniversary
I was thinking that my anxiety happens like ripples in water. If a stone is dropped in a river the ripples move out in all directions. And if there is a big thing I am anxious about the attacks ripple out the same way. I feel them long before the big thing and long after. … Continue reading Bit By Bit
I went for a walk yesterday. I took the boys to the dentist in the morning (no cavities!) and when I came home all I wanted to do was binge eat comfort food. But you know what? I didn't do it. I am not sure what gave me the strength, but instead of chowing down, … Continue reading Going for a Walk in the Fall
Yesterday I had a bit of an anxiety attack in the middle of the day. It happened before I left to go swimming. For a moment I considered not going and staying home. I told myself it would be fine, I would run instead. I ended up sticking with my original plan and I … Continue reading How I Didn’t Back Out