Waiting

I had another bad day today. After this weekend full of lights and sounds and people… I need some time to recover.

Although I don’t think I would feel much better even if I had spent the weekend at home alone.

That’s just where I’m at right now.

Still waiting to hear from back from the psychiatrist. It’s only been a couple days so there is no need to get worried.

But I am struggling

and waiting.

I am still doing all the things, the basic things to keep my life afloat. It is because I am able to do those things that I am not spending time beating myself up. My sad moments are just sad, there is no rhyme or reason. They are there and I feel them. But I don’t have to feel bad about feeling bad, because I am still afloat. Just barely, but I can still breathe.

I would like to do so much more than simply stay afloat though.

But for now I will wait.