When You Have a Stubborn Inner Child



I am not working out today.

I just … I have this little girl standing on my heart with her pouty face on and she has dug her heels in deep and screwed her eyes up tight and she is saying, quite clearly, “I DON’T WANNA!”

My plan is to go to bed early tonight and then get up super early tomorrow. So early in fact, that the little girl will still be sleeping and I can quickly begin working out before she has a chance to wake up and realize what is happening.

It might not be a good plan.

The thing is, all of it, the running, the swimming, the treadmill; it is all so much effort to put in, only to then not see any results. It’s hard to build up motivation anymore. I f*cking plateaued.

I am in a rut. A deep depressing rut that I can’t see my way out of… yet.

I was thinking about finding my old P90X DVDs and starting those workouts. I would see results with that, right? Would I? I don’t know… could I even do it? Would the workouts be too hard and I would quit? Or would I do them wrong and still not see any results or even worse, injure myself?

My problem right now is, I don’t want to go outside where there are, like, other people… people who can look at me with their eyes. Yuck! And I don’t want to stay inside on the treadmill because it is mind numbingly boring. And I don’t want to go swimming because it is a whole drive and a public thing and UGH! I could make myself do those things. I could force the little girl, crying and screaming, to go out and do it anyway. But like I said, thats a lot of effort to go through only to feel like I am not really getting anywhere.

Or maybe I am just expecting too much from all this exercise. Maybe this is it and I can be happy with that. Maybe I don’t need to see any more improvement…

Nah… I want more. I guess I will just have to start pushing harder in order to get it.

So it might be worth looking into those old DVDs… worth a try anyway.

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