I went for a run yesterday. I was all alone at home on my treadmill listening to a good book on Audible. I felt wonderful.
Today is a day to stay home, stay inside, read and maybe even nap. I am having a thin-skinned kind of day. Maybe it is that I am just not sleeping well but… I felt good yesterday. I did all the things I needed to. I even went to three different grocery stores. It was fucking awful. I hated it. But I did it. I did it and now it’s done and that is why today I get to stay inside today and read. Because I got out yesterday and I will be getting out tomorrow.
So today …
I can take care of the voice inside me that is screaming; the hive of bees that live inside my chest, the creepy crawlies that live just under my skin, the roaches in my brain. I can withdraw into myself and take care of all the nastiness that has built up inside while I have been facing the world. The darkness that demands my attention, needs my love, and deserves my care and affection. Because all of me is worthy of love. All of me is beautiful and deserves to flourish. Not just the parts I show the outside world. But the parts inside me that no one sees. The parts that get scared or confused or don’t know how to spell or think bad thoughts or get mad or get sad or do all the little things that I feel are unlovable. It is all part of me and all deserves time in the sun. Or under a blanket, if that is what it prefers. So that is what I am going to go do today, take care of the parts of me that need love and want to stay safe in bed.
Because yesterday I ran.